Sunday, July 23, 2023

Narcissistic Gaslighting: 19 Signs You Are A Victim


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Understanding Narcissistic Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that people with selfish personality traits use to gain power and control over their victims. This type of psychological manipulation involves distorting the victim's reality and making them question their perceptions, memories, and sanity.


Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that is sneaky and can have terrible effects on the mental health and well-being of the target.


What is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who thinks too much of themselves, needs to be admired all the time, and doesn't care about other people. They feel like they deserve a lot and often take advantage of and control others to get what they want.


Narcissists want to be validated all the time, and when their actions or behaviors are questioned, they can get very angry.


Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder that some people with narcissistic traits have. Also, it's important to keep in mind that not everyone with some selfish traits has NPD.


NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder Defined


Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex mental condition that is marked by a pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for praise, and a lack of empathy for others. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) calls it a Cluster B personality disorder.


 People with NPD often think they are more important than they really are and think they deserve special care because they are special or unique.


Why Do Narcissists Gaslight?

It's important to remember that gaslighting is an act of trickery that is planned and done on purpose. By understanding why narcissists do the things they do, people can spot the abuse and take steps to protect themselves from its harmful effects.


Most narcissists use gaslighting for the following reasons:

Keeping control

Narcissists want to be in charge of other people and their surroundings. By gaslighting, narcissists can hurt their victims' sense of self-worth, making them more agreeable and dependent on their praise.

Getting out of being responsible

Narcissists can blame their victims or make them think the abuse is their fault when they use gaslighting. By doing this, they avoid taking blame for the bad things they have done.

Boosting Ego and Self-Worth

Gaslighting gives narcissists a feeling of being better than others and feeds their ego. People think they are smarter, know more, and have more power when they manipulate others.

Isolating the Victim

Gaslighting can make the person feel alone and cut off from friends, family, and support networks. This makes it easy for the narcissist to keep control and keeps the victim from going to other people for help or approval.

5. Making their victims feel like they need them: Narcissists try to make their victims feel like they need them, which makes it harder for them to leave a bad relationship. Gaslighting hurts the victim's sense of self-worth and makes them feel like they can't do anything without the narcissist's help.

Entertaining Themselves

Some narcissists find it fun to play with and manipulate other people's feelings. Gaslighting is a way for them to have fun and feel good at the cost of their victims.

A Way to Protect Their Fragile Self-Esteem

Narcissists may use gaslighting as a way to protect their fragile self-esteem. By dismissing the thoughts and feelings of others, they protect themselves from criticism or what they see as threats to their sense of self-worth.

Feeding Their Sense of Being Better Than Others

Narcissists think they have the right to control and rule other people. Gaslighting lets them feel like they are better than their victims and keep a fake sense of power over them.


19 Clues That a Narcissist Is Trying to Gaslight You

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1. Always putting your views and feelings down.

2. Trying to hide or make light of your feelings and events.

3. Changing the facts and changing the past.

4. Putting the blame for their mistakes and failings on you.

5. Putting down your thoughts and ideas.

6. Acting like a victim to get pity and avoid being responsible.

7. Putting the blame on other people, even you.

8. Saying and doing things that are confusing and don't make sense.

9. Keeping you away from your friends and family in order to keep control.

10. Making fun of you or putting you down in private or in public.

11. Withholding love or giving love as a prize for doing what you are told.

12. Using passive-aggressive behavior to get you to do what they want.

13. Making you question what you remember and how you see things.

14. Telling you they will leave you or punish you if you don't do what they want.

15. Giving the quiet treatment or putting up a wall as a way to control someone.

16. Giving people false information to turn them against you.

17. Putting your efforts and successes down or ignoring them.

18. Love-bombing you to keep you interested mentally.

19. Making you feel like you have to take care of their happiness and health.

Impact of Narcissistic Gaslighting on Your Mental Health

Narcissistic gaslighting can be very bad for your mental health and last for a long time. Victims may feel anxious, depressed, have low self-esteem, and lose their sense of self. Constant manipulation and invalidation can make someone feel confused, question themselves, and emotionally worn out.


Over time, narcissists may make their victims feel alone and dependent on them, making it hard for them to leave the violent relationship.

Stages of Gaslighting

STAGE 1: Idealisation

The narcissist makes the victim look perfect by showing them love and respect in order to gain their trust and loyalty.

STAGE 2: Devaluation

The narcissist starts to criticize and put down the target in order to lower their self-esteem and make them dependent.

STAGE 3: Gaslighting

This is when the abuser uses tricks to make the target question their reality and wonder if they are crazy.

STAGE 4: Get Rid Of Victim

The narcissist gets rid of the victim when he or she has full control or when the victim starts to set limits.


Gaslighting By A Narcissist Is A Form Of Emotional Abuse

Narcissistic gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that leaves victims feeling emotionally drained and mentally scarred. Constant manipulation and invalidation can cause complicated trauma that affects every part of a person's life.

Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse, and victims need to know that in order to get help and break out of the cycle.

How to Keep Yourself Safe

  • Get a Good Education: Learn about gaslighting and how narcissists act so you can spot the warning signs.

  • Set Boundaries: Set clear limits and tell the ego about them in a strong way.

  • Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who understand and accept your experiences, like friends, family, or support groups.

  • Write Down the Abuse: Keep a record of the times you were gaslighted or treated badly emotionally.

  • Get Help From a Professional: Talk to a therapist or counselor who knows how to deal with narcissistic abuse.

How to Get Over the Trauma of Being Gaslighted by a Narcissist

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Healing from the pain of narcissistic gaslighting takes time, patience, and kindness toward yourself. Gaslighting by a narcissist can cause deep mental wounds, confusion, and self-doubt.


Healing is a path that is different for each person, and there is no set time for recovery. Be kind to yourself, and if you find it hard to deal with the effects of gaslighting on your own, don't be afraid to get professional help.


After being gaslighted by a narcissist, it is possible to heal and restart your life with time, help, and kindness toward yourself.



Here are some steps that can help you get better:

  • Admit that you've been hurt: The first step is to admit that you've been hurt by narcissistic gaslighting. Accept that your feelings and experiences are real and that you did not cause the abuse.

  • Set limits: Set clear limits with the narcissist or anyone else in your life who could be harmful. If you need to, you can cut off interaction to protect yourself from more harm.

  • Ask for help: Talk to friends, family, or a support group who can help you feel understood and cared for. Talking to other people about your experiences can be helpful and reassuring.

  • Take care of yourself by doing things that make you feel better and help you heal. This could be exercise, being mindful, writing in a notebook, or any other thing that makes you happy and calm.

  • Therapy: Think about getting help from a professional therapist who knows how to deal with narcissistic abuse. Therapy can help you work through your feelings, build your self-esteem, and find ways to deal with tough situations.

  • Learn more about narcissistic personality disorder and gaslighting: This will help you understand how narcissists act and what they do. This information can give you the power to protect yourself from abuse in the future.

  • Challenge negative beliefs: Gaslighting often makes people doubt themselves and have a bad view of themselves. Work on proving these ideas wrong and replacing them with positive ones.

  • Don't blame yourself: Remind yourself that you were the target of a cunning person, and that their actions don't say anything about your worth.

  • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness methods can help you stay in the moment and reduce anxiety or unwanted thoughts related to the trauma.

  • Use your creativity to express your feelings: You can do this through art, writing, or singing. It can be healing and help you deal with hard feelings.

  • Be patient: It takes time to get over the pain of being gaslighted by a narcissist. Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel and figure out how you feel without judging yourself.

  • Forgive Yourself: Know that it's normal to feel weak or have problems while you're getting better. Give yourself a pass for any mistakes or setbacks you think you've made.


Frequently Asked Questions


How can I avoid being gaslighted?

You can protect yourself by learning about gaslighting, setting limits, building a support network, keeping a record of the abuse, and getting help from an expert.

Can being gaslighted by a narcissist cause mental health problems?

Yes, constant emotional manipulation and invalidation can cause anxiety, sadness, low self-esteem, and other mental health problems.

Can being gaslighted by a narcissist cause mental health problems?

Gaslighting has four stages: idealization, devaluation, gaslighting, and giving up.

Is gaslighting by a narcissist a form of mental abuse?

Yes, narcissistic gaslighting is a form of mental abuse that can hurt the victim's feelings and mind.